Updated American Express Commercial

Do you know me?
I've lived in Oklahoma all my life, I've been a reporter in newspapers, radio and TV and even had my own television and radio shows, but maybe you don't know me.
I'm a conservative Oklahoma Republican, I believe in lower taxes, less government, a strong national defense, protecting the lives of the unborn and the constitution.
Because I believe in these "dangerous things" according to Department of Homeland Security director Janet Napolitano, suspects I may be a terrorist.
Isn't it ironic! The same principles that our founding fathers supported are now considered dangerous by the same government they founded?
Oh, and if you have recently served our great nation in the military, you are automatically considered a terrorist suspect as well.
Janet still has her job. She has made some boneheaded mistakes, including changing "terrorism" into "unscheduled man made disasters". Don't you feel safer already?
And when reporters wanted to ask her about the terrorism "suspects" she ignored the first amendment and told the reporters she would answer ONLY one question. Try to get away with that if you are a Republican or conservative-ain't gonna happen.
So, if you are a conservative American, vote Republican and live below the Mason-Dixon Line, you can be a terrorist suspect, too.
So, remember to carry your Terrorist Identification Card (TIC) in case you are stopped. And at night, please place your TIC in a window facing the street, because law enforcement agents responding to the area outside of sector five, won't respond to property displaying the TIC card to protect their safety.